The colonoscopy sans colon

Yes they will run a scope up into just a rectum. First, he hurts you with the”digital exam”. I know this because i felt it even with sedation. During this part they look for fissures, hemorrhoids, and general tone of sphincter. Next the scope is inserted and things like polyps are looked for inside.

These are the same basic things done in a regular colonoscopy, there is just less to look at. So colectomy does get a scope too.

Time to do something

I really hate boxing myself into a corner like this.I’ve whined and cries like a baby and guess how far I’ve gotten. Well, you know… Answers to important questions will be forthcoming. A couple of phone calls will start it. One to the sleep lab, who I’ve not heard from in two or three weeks, for one. It’s time for progress.I went through one night and I’m ready to get on with the rest of it. Time to get some sleep! The second phone call is the big one.

First, the surgeon who did the colectomy hardly touched me during my visits to him. He didn’t examine me once before the surgery which bothered me somewhat but..What, I trusted him? Okay so he did the surgery and again, afterward still didn’t examine me… This time, because no doctor here where I live wants to touch me, I will insist on him seeing me or know why. I am having increased pain and with an abnormal CT, I have to have someone to be on my side. My pcp sent his notes and copy of the scan to the surgeon over a week ago. You’d think a person would hear something by now.

After those pieces of business are over, I believe that I am going to look into going back to school for my masters degree. A masters in business should make it somewhat easier to find a job. Although that’s what I thought about when I got my bachelor’s…

That should make for a full day of frustration and madness, so after, I think that M and I will go fishing in the afternoon. I am having bowel troubles but I can always take some loperamine before we go and wear a pad just in case.I mention this because I believe that people should be upfront with what is going on in their lives especially things that cause impact on us.

I may not like answers that I get tomorrow, but I will have answers of some sort when I’m through. It takes a lot these days to get me started nut now is the time.

Physical Afflictions.

For this post I’m going to be selfish and talk about me. Despite the length and breadth of my depression that I’ve dealt with for almost as long as I can remember, it is my physical ailments that cause me the most turmoil.

In my teens and twenties stomach issues plagued me.GERD, and a hiatal hernia were center stage. I suffered silently for a few years until I heard about a procedure called Nissan fundoplication. I know that it doesn’t work for everyone but it was a surgery that I would repeat if I were to be in that much pain again.

Later in my twenties and while at a gun show, I ate a polish sausage. It causes a gall bladder attack that felt like a knife was sticking through me clean through, front to back. That surgery too was worth every minute of post op pain.

Fast forward a while and I ended up with a incisional  hernia. “Easy to fix, I’ll use mesh to close the hernia” is what the surgeon said. I awoke too intense pain that lots of fentanyl wouldn’t touch.I went by ambulance from the surgery center to the main hospital for a CT scan. I ended up in the hospital with an ng tube and some time for the blockage to clear.

When the pain stated,I learned that I had intestinal malformation for which I had a LADD’S procedure to’fix’ . Add to pain constipation that was unbearable. I dealt with that, using every option possible to try to correct it. It got so bad I didn’t go for extended periods of time, sometimes up to two weeks or more.

Desperate, I went to a colorectal surgeon and had a colectomy with anastomosis, meaning they removed my colon and matched up the end of my smallbowell with my rectum. Talk about a life change. Now I go 3-4 times a day or more. Basically perpetual diarrhea now.And I thought that my surgeries were complete.It got rid of part of the pain that I’ve had these long years and I could go!

Unfortunately, not even a year out from this”last”surgery,I am having an increase of pain and have to strain to defecate. A CT scan shows adhesions that is sticking things together. This may mean another surgery if they cause a blockage of my bowels. Unfortunately, more surgery can mean more adhesions.

This is the end of my brief history.Now I’d like to go on to another subject that is related.

An average person probably doesn’t think about going to the bathroom. We are conditioned from early on that even talking about it was nasty. Any references to defecation were referred to as “shit” or dookey or other terms. That is really bad considering that being able to talk about bodily functions as it turns out are very important if something goes wrong.

Something wrong might mean hemorrhoids or a fissure or something just as simple. Other, dangerous things might be polyps or worse, cancer, which can be minimized in many cases by early intervention. That means talking about body function with a doctor.ignoring symptoms such as blood, or pain could lead to be bad.

I dare say that some number of people are so ashamed or embarrassed that even when blood or pain presents itself they will suffer with it until forced by their own bodies to seek help. Sometimes the delay can have consequences.

Who doesn’t love Babies!

These days, can be difficult to let good things shine through. One good thing that I enjoy is babies. I love babies, they are new and pretty to look at and they smell good.  (I suspect it is all of the aromatic stuff that is applied to babies.  Tee  hee.) Holding a baby is a joyous thing. Love flows to and from holder and holdee.

Holding and cuddling babies is essential for babie’s growth and development,  not to mention what it does for adults.  lol  Skin to skin contact is best with baby’s ear pressed to the holders chest letting  her hear that familiar sound of Mom’s breathing and heartbeat, like when they were in the womb. Babies naturally cling which makes the holder feel good too.

An infants cry  prompts an action from the caregiver. Sometimes it is a guessing game as to what is needed to shut the child up,  as their cry can be quite soul piercing, as anyone who has experienced it will be able to attest. A diaper, a bottle, or a walk about are the usual starting points which will (hopefully) bring blessed silence.

Despite the  problems, these very young humans are what keeps the world spinning and parents grinning.  “Live long and prosper”  Leonard Nimoy

Depression in my life.

Depression sucks. It’s been right here with me as long as I can remember. Sometimes it is like being in a dark room, gloomy and sad. Other times it is a overwhelming pressure on all sides, suffocating and painful. There is nothing like battling it. There are drugs, therapists, social workers and doctors to make depression go away.   “Just get over it” was the first bit of advice that I ever got. That worked very well. NOT!! if it was that easy, doctors and drug manufacturers would be out of work. That doesn’t mean that someone won’t suggest it once they get frustrated with a depressed person.

Speaking of doctors, one of my favorite things to do is to tell my story to the next doctor in the line up. Shit, after going through all of the symptoms, drugs, therapies and the list of doctors I’ve seen I usually get to the diagnosis… Wait for it…. Depression! These days, I’m tired of trying drugs that haven’t worked yet, but maybe they will now.. I’m tired of talking to someone new who sooner than later gets tired and bored with my constant repeated complaints. If they think that they are bored with all of this shit, they need to sit in my chair. Somewhere in here I generally get the standard ‘There is no magic cure’ speech where it is implied that I don’t get better because I am resistant and so it is my own fault.

So, what to do, what to do. It would be nice to get it to go away. Cymbalta has been the one drug that has given me some relief. But it is not as effective as it once was. This is what usually happens with these medications, their efficacy wanes over time. That’s the way it goes. People not unlike myself will have to wait to see if something new comes down the pike. In the meantime, I guess I’ll have to get my note cards out.