The promise of work

Apparently wasn’t a promise at all. For some time m now I’ve been searching for another job. I thought that my work experience and new degree could have opened a door for me. Turns out, I can’t even get an interview. I am careful as I can be about dating myself being over 50 and all. They still ask “legitimate” questions that are designed to do just that.

I’ve about resigned myself to being a cashier for the rest of my employable life.

Physical Afflictions.

For this post I’m going to be selfish and talk about me. Despite the length and breadth of my depression that I’ve dealt with for almost as long as I can remember, it is my physical ailments that cause me the most turmoil.

In my teens and twenties stomach issues plagued me.GERD, and a hiatal hernia were center stage. I suffered silently for a few years until I heard about a procedure called Nissan fundoplication. I know that it doesn’t work for everyone but it was a surgery that I would repeat if I were to be in that much pain again.

Later in my twenties and while at a gun show, I ate a polish sausage. It causes a gall bladder attack that felt like a knife was sticking through me clean through, front to back. That surgery too was worth every minute of post op pain.

Fast forward a while and I ended up with a incisional ┬áhernia. “Easy to fix, I’ll use mesh to close the hernia” is what the surgeon said. I awoke too intense pain that lots of fentanyl wouldn’t touch.I went by ambulance from the surgery center to the main hospital for a CT scan. I ended up in the hospital with an ng tube and some time for the blockage to clear.

When the pain stated,I learned that I had intestinal malformation for which I had a LADD’S procedure to’fix’ . Add to pain constipation that was unbearable. I dealt with that, using every option possible to try to correct it. It got so bad I didn’t go for extended periods of time, sometimes up to two weeks or more.

Desperate, I went to a colorectal surgeon and had a colectomy with anastomosis, meaning they removed my colon and matched up the end of my smallbowell with my rectum. Talk about a life change. Now I go 3-4 times a day or more. Basically perpetual diarrhea now.And I thought that my surgeries were complete.It got rid of part of the pain that I’ve had these long years and I could go!

Unfortunately, not even a year out from this”last”surgery,I am having an increase of pain and have to strain to defecate. A CT scan shows adhesions that is sticking things together. This may mean another surgery if they cause a blockage of my bowels. Unfortunately, more surgery can mean more adhesions.

This is the end of my brief history.Now I’d like to go on to another subject that is related.

An average person probably doesn’t think about going to the bathroom. We are conditioned from early on that even talking about it was nasty. Any references to defecation were referred to as “shit” or dookey or other terms. That is really bad considering that being able to talk about bodily functions as it turns out are very important if something goes wrong.

Something wrong might mean hemorrhoids or a fissure or something just as simple. Other, dangerous things might be polyps or worse, cancer, which can be minimized in many cases by early intervention. That means talking about body function with a doctor.ignoring symptoms such as blood, or pain could lead to be bad.

I dare say that some number of people are so ashamed or embarrassed that even when blood or pain presents itself they will suffer with it until forced by their own bodies to seek help. Sometimes the delay can have consequences.

Ignorance Squared equals Stupid!

Ignorance is teachable, An ignorant person can be taught. Stupid is┬átermlnal. Stupid can’t be taught different concepts because they refuse to acknowledge or change their minds on an issue. They are convinced that their way is the only way. However, an ignorant person who ignores or denies the existence of problem is ignorance squared, or just plain stupid !