An interview

Next week I go for a job interview for which I am qualified. It isn’t a business job, actually, it’s a technical job similar to what I was doing before becoming disabled.

I hope to get this job. I may know the super over maintenance there at this job. If it is who I think it is, I may stand a chance to get the job.

I am disheartened that of the many applications that I’ve put out, I didn’t get but one interview that was business related.

My next hurdle will be to get into rehab to detox from 10 years of prescribed opioid use. While I still have pain, I need to do this for the job and for myself.

The promise of work

Apparently wasn’t a promise at all. For some time m now I’ve been searching for another job. I thought that my work experience and new degree could have opened a door for me. Turns out, I can’t even get an interview. I am careful as I can be about dating myself being over 50 and all. They still ask “legitimate” questions that are designed to do just that.

I’ve about resigned myself to being a cashier for the rest of my employable life.

The crossroad

It should be here somewhere. The crossroad that leads no where. The journey on that road won’t be happy nor pleasant but it will be one there that i will take because I must. I have done things that there was no pride in doing. I did them because i was driven to do them. My journey to here, where I am now, had taken most my life to get here. I wasn’t always the messed up creature before you now.

Before now I still had a colon, an appendix and other parts that are now gone .I also had unspeakable depression that should have taken my life but didn’t and a great deal of confusion, possibly caused by bipolar disorder. Even now I don’t necessarily think of myself lucky to be alive, I just am.

I have longed to find the crossroad way before now. To the road that leads me to a life that I would like to try, one that I have worked at to get. A new job would be a great start. My search has been going on for some time now. Applications sent and rejected over and over so that I think that besides Walmart, there is no other place for me. Sad to think, that. That being a cashier is why I spent four years in school for a Bachelor’s in business. It makes me sad and sick at the same time.

Speaking of sick, I just found out that I had abdominal adhesions which puts me at risk of a blockage at some point. That will be a problem as doctors here don’t want to touch me since I went to st Louis for the colectomy. Maybe I should have had it done here, in retrospect. I’m not sure who I would have had do the surgery. I still have no faith in Dr B. He is the only CR surgeon in this area too, at least in my health system.

Anyway the adhesions are causing me pain now but I still pooh so I’ve got that going for me. A person takes lots for granted, like eating and drinking and breathing. Going pooh ranks right up there. We don’t talk about or even think about pigging out loud until we can’t go or if it hurts. Even then we talk in hushed tones, embarrassed for anyone to hear. For some the embarrassment costs them dearly. Keeps them from seeing a doctor until real problems set in. To go with the adhesions, I have to strain to go which I’m told isn’t a good thing since all I have is small bowl tired to my rectum which could prolapse or recticele creating an outlet problem. And the fecal incontinence is bothersome too. I wear pads because I never know when a leak will occur.

There is more to come. Sorry if there is too much information. I will keep that in mind for a warning next time for those who embarrass easily or have a weak constitution.

 

Looking for a career change

I’ve been looking for a career change for sometime now. I thought with my degree and work history that it would be a lot more simple than it has been thus far. To be completely  honest I’m not sure how long that I’ll be able to work. My ailments are multiplying with no answers yet as to what to do about them.

I do still have a couple of applications out that I would like to be able to see to fruition. I recently found out that I was passed over for a national park job that I really would have liked to have had a chance of getting. Other positions failed as well but I’ll continue on for a time and see what happens.

I’ve even applied for a job that I know that I’m qualified for but don’t really want to do. Paradoxical,  you might think,  but when I became disabled it was from a job just like the one that I had just applied to. My disabilities are both physical and mental in nature and my fairly recent surgery has added a new element in the form of added pain plus incontinence on occasion. Both are more than a nuisance. I hate wearing pads in order to go to work or just to go out.

Next I’d  like to talk about labor law a little bit. I’m no expert by any means but I still feel the need to get it out. First, it’s against the law to discriminate against those with a disability but I haven’t heard how one can ascertain if such discrimination has occurred. For example, if one applies for a position but doesn’t get it, how can it be learned about the qualifications of  the winning bidder? Laws are worthless without some way to investigate possible issues. I am having trouble wrapping my head around this issue.

Sorry about the ramble. This has been in me for some time and I had to get it out.

Episode XXIIIXX: A NEW JOB

An opening for department manager led me to throw my hat into the ring. I am now wondering whether this is a good idea. Given that my mood, while improving, is still wonky at best. I definately have some ideas that would make working there more pleasurable, for myself and my fellow co-workers. There are problems within the organization that are out of my reach but I can try to help make a change.

I’d give everyone a voice and, when possible, a choice. I know how much it means to have an avenue to provide input. I’d lend an ear to whomever might need it. Talking out problems is the way to resolve issues before they become major, can defuse a situation and prevent escalation of conflict. I’m told that i have to be there for six months before I can take a different job but I hope that this is incorrect. I’ll post after I hear more.

Those of you who read my blog may have noticed a bit of a difference in my attitude. If so, please tell me. I appreciate comments.

A job!

I got a job interview today! Walmart called me this morning, they have a opening in produce,  days. Finally, maybe i can quit working in my dreams at night. It was getting to like i was working full time and not getting paid for it! I’m excited about this, my mood been sooo dark because of finances.I’ve been physically ill because of the stress.

Wish me luck. I’m pretty sure that i have the job. ..now i need to be able to do it!