I’m sorry

I put people through so much in order for them to communicate with me. I don’t know why. .. i guess i just wake up and it pops in my head “I guess I’ll mess with my own head today.” I don’t mean to be egocentric or selfish. I’m sure though that i must come off that way. People try to make my life feel better… people from all over the world!

What brings me to that place then? While i have a diagnosed mental health issue, I’m not a moron and i care how people perceive me. Still i drive people away to the point that they won’t have anything to do with me. I’ve been married to the same woman for 32 years now, what keeps her here? I shout these questions to the heavensand strain to hear a response.