Reality check

I was told today i missed my calling, she thought that i should be an actor. Not so I can assure everyone. Nor could i be a comedian, I may be funny while on my meds but when they wear off, I’m a depressed fool.

I’d like to have that ability to bring humor to others. There is just too much darkness to overcome in order to do it.

Another thing I’d like to talk about. I have been having a hard time writing. It has to do with depression and anxiety related to bipolar disorder. I haven’t reached a level with medicine that will keep me stable yet. I am working on it with my pdoc and hope to get there pretty soon.

I also am frustrated by chronic pain that i must, for now treat with opioids. That part I can now control mostly. I don’t like this solution that much but it is becoming clear that a surgical solution will not be forthcoming anytime soon. I am fortunate that I have a pcp who cares and prescribes what i need to stay comfortable.

My other problem i have relegated myself to combating with copious amounts of water. Not a pretty lifestyle but effective enough for now. lol  The malrotation support group won’t give up on me nor i them. I am very grateful for that.

I want to mention to those who don’t know that the colonic inertia, can be exacerbated by the percocet. Also by my psych meds,  and blood pressure,  and a muscle relaxer that i take. This collection of meds is what it takes to make life bearable for me. I am defensive about this because many people here and out there, disapprove of my med list or life style. I’m doing the best i can.

To be clear, i do appreciate comments, even those that disagree with me. I just had to rid myself of this guilt so that i can continue to write and live.


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