I don’t feel as hateful I did last night. .I feel more so! My anger toward the world is intense. I hate dealing with many of the people I come in contact with daily with notable exceptions, mostly family. Good for them! I hate me most of all, of the stupid mistakes that i make and continue to make.
Aside from that, the world is just fucking rosy! Life is such a hoot I’m thinking of sticking something sharp through this gut of mine, you know, just to let the gas out, plus whatever else is in there. Stupid fucking body just won’t quit hurting. I need to give it a reason to hurt.
So far I’ve kept this mood thing in check. I’ve done it for a long time, I’ll keep it a while longer. I just have to find improved ways to keep everyone occupied. My triggers grow with time. More pissiness means more shit to bury. Hell i have a landfill full of this stuff. We’ll mine it to keep conflict going around the world for years to come.
Don’t get the idea that I’m dangerous, only in my own mind. I learned the technique from years of experience! It’s much easier to be mad than glad. One only needs watch the pressure guage, don’t want it to get too high ya know. Being pissed means that later i can feel about how I’ve made people feel around me. And the cycle continues.