Road to hell-2nd part

My thinking isn’t too clear sometimes. It’s a mental illness thing. Ironically, some of my “best”  thinking is done just before the inevitable crash. Sometimes it is a tiny window of time where I’m at peace and feel good inside. It just doesn’t happen often is like it too.

After the big surgery, parts of my body didn’t right for a while, others still don’t work right. I couldn’t urinate, which a catheter, always a nice experience. I had no appetite and didn’t eat for days so they put me on parenteral feeding. (Intravenous stuff in place of eating) with it i did losing weight. They had to use a central line with the catheter terminated just before my heart, it turns out that the stuff is hard on blood vessels.

While i was healing, they wanted me to get up and walk. .. easier said than done. The floor came up to trip me with very step that I took. The world spun around me and I’d have to sit. It took a while but of course I became mobile once again.

The incision healed nicely. The doc did a fine job and the scar isn’t an ugly mess. Just a pale six inch line running from just under my sternum to below my belly button. He had implanted two plastic lines on each side of the incision attached to a container that looked like a small rubber ball containing some kind of pain reliever. By the time the container shrank, healing taken hold and i didn’t need it anymore.

Impotence was and been a real problem (a ten year problem) which hasn’t been fair to me or my wife. It’s no wonder that she gets grumpy. .. yes, I’ve tried the little blue pills, and therapy (talk). Injections worked like a charm but aren’t covered under medicare, of course. No, the injections don’t hurt, it’s an insulin needle, very small. ☺It was a little weird to do the first time but the results were great! No problem after that.

Continuing, chronic pain is the biggest problem, and getting bigger. Well, the colonic inertia too is a problem. Doh! Not being able go to the bathroom for up to two weeks is getting way old. Hence the reason for my trip to St Louis to the Dr there… although now that I’ve thought and talked this through some, I may change my thinking and go back to the surgeon who did the ladds procedure. He did do a good job. I’ll have to eat crow going back to him (not with him but with people who i bad mouthed to about him). I’m going to have to give this some thought, for sure.

Ok, well that clear thinking had kinda changed unfortunately. But I may continue if I can find my train of thought.

Well, the pain led to not being able to work which led to disability which led to going to school for my business degree which finally led me to my almost minimum wage job that I have now. The end.

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