Dueling poles

I went my psych drug prescriber today. She has, in the past suggested that i am bi polar. Today it became official. Lucky me, not! I shouldn’t be surprised. Other practitioners have thought the same and I have been on trials of lithionate. I hate the side effects and not taken it. Of course this hasn’t changed anything and in fact has most definately delayed any benefit that I might have gained if i would have pursued an alternative therapy.

Now that I have a firm dx and if i can accept it, maybe treatment will help me. I hope so. I’ve more despondent over the past 6 months and it is causing immense of anxiety to go along it. I don’t feel that there is much in my life even though there is evidence to the contrary. I am sick to death of not having any drive to do anything.

The treatment plan is seroquel, limictal, abilify, cymbalta the only thing new at this point is the abilify I take that in the morning. Oh, and a new therapist. Lucky me. Going to a new therapist is worse than going to the dentist. I don’t have the trust to expose parts of my dysfunctional brain for any of them to the whole picture. Maybe will tell my I’m a hopeless case and i can go on having an un-lifeas the rest of it has been…. Shit…. what a mess. At least at 60 years old i won’t have put with it for oh so many years.

Well, stay tuned. We’ll see what happens next!

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