Another Saturday morning with nothing to say. Tch tch. I thought earlier about writing about how my down in the dirt depression has morphed into a depression that just leaves me with no drive, no sex, and no desire to get up in the morning. But I just don’t give a shit. I did go for my eye check up and there is no change in my vision plus the spot that they had mapped a year ago hasn’t grown so hey! I’ve got that going for me…
I gave up on my job search temporarily. I’m in search for a doctor who will listen to my constant complaints about the pain in my belly and constant constipation. I went to my GO recently and he was angry about me asking for a referral to a doctor out of town and out of his system. Man, if anyone wants me to go away all they have to do is say so. I mean if I’m building the hell out of a doctor by complaining about the same things all of the time, perhaps one solution would be to listen and do a little investigation. He’ll I’m on meds that I have to go to see him every three months for to get and I am paying him…
If I was prone to depression, attitude like that could drive me to harmful behavior. I like to be told that he had explained the symptoms that I complain about as tied to my medication and depression. Never mind the time period when nothing gets through at all. Or the little extra pain in one area that occurs during those times. This last time I enjoyed his insistence that I tell him which tests I’d like for him to order.. That made me feel ssoooo small. It is too much to ask for a little respect from him. I’ve been going to him for several years now.. Maybe he knows me better than God. If he does I probably other him an apology. I’m going to take a poll… Any readers who have followed me these last couple of months do me a favor, if I’m a royal pain in the ass who needs to keep his trap shut just reply “shut the hell up “.. I’ll tally the votes and use that add a guideline.
In the meantime maybe I should consider other alternatives. I am a free thinker, college educated and certified crazy. I’ve even got a certificate on the wall. I do love a roll in the mud too. It keeps my skin so smooth. Yes, I now believe it to be time to quit the pain meds, cause they muddle my brain plus the antidepressants cause they suck the libido right out of my body. I’ve done it before, I can do it again!
Summer is coming up I can probably find a great job at McD’s! I hear that the hours are good and the pay right where it needs to be. I can probably work up to French fries in six months if I work real hard. I’ll have to work a late shift too cause I can’t get out of bed before noon what with the vamping and blogging till the wee hours. I have lots of replies to read and respond to after all I do have fifteen followers!
Someone told me a long time ago that if a person rants on and on that you should really tell them to shut up and get a life. I pass that on every chance I get. After all our mental health system is way over loaded. Plus my therapist only has an hour slot once every three months. That ought to be enough for a chronic complainer who just takes up precious time talking about what is helping him be sad. Same old thing every time. Talk about BORING! I could make up some stuff, you know spice it up a little get a little action going.
Put my GP and counselor together and I’m sure they’ll tell the true story. The South about how I’ve made everything up and just go to them to irritate them. If this were fifteen years ago, I’d show ’em boy. But it’s not, I’m here now and a pain in the ass. “sniff ” I feel so sorry for myself. I need to snap out of this and get my shit back in order! I see people here do it every day! If everyone else can then I should be able to also.
Okay, new plan. Quit all the meds starting now. No more oxycodone, no more cymbalta, no seroquel, no linzess, amitiza, no Soma… Nothing. My new life starts right this moment. I can hardly wait to wake up in the morning. I’m gonna jump out of bed, go work in the garden, mow the lawn and then start my job search in earnest. Next I get off of disability. Fakers are the cause of the economic woes of this country and makes it hard for people who deserve to get it. Just ask a republican, not a disabled one if there is such a thing as a disabled republican that is…
I’ll post some really boring updates to tell about my progress. In fact I will start with a disclaimer that reading the updates may cause severe yawning. That will be followed by an immediate need to find another post to read. My advice… Do it. Follow your instincts save yourself from impending boredom and the compulsive need to scratch your own eyes out. I don’t need luck on this. Professional opinions are never wrong. Okay, if you’ve read this far I’m surprised and I’ll spare any more discomfort.
Everyone have a day!!!