Disappointing Doctor.

So, I’m here to whine once again. Recently, I went off on a tangent about God doctor’s. The man who has treated me for nearly ten years when asked for a referral to another doctor said “Dr. Z who you wanted a referral to doesn’t see people with your condition”. That was it. Well, except that he again explained that he had already explained what was causing the symptoms that I complain about.

That was several days ago.  Today I called the doctors office which I wanted the referral. I discovered that I didn’t get the whole story. It seems that they didn’t just say they wouldn’t see me. No. They told my primary care physician that I could make an appointment with one of their other Drs. It just figured. Dr primary acted angry the last time that I saw him. He left the room to take a phone call and never came back. He never finished any type of examination as he had previously done on exactly the same type of visit.

I am not a physician. I worked as a journeyman industrial maintenance tech for 40 years. Both jobs are service industry. Both require dedication,  education and integrity and both are held to a higher standard. Doctors require these because of the lives that they affect and are responsible for. Industrial maintenance require these because of the safety of the people who work in the environment that they oversee. If either is negligent, people could be in mortal danger. 

If ever I failed as miserably as he did,  the least I could expect (and I would expect it) would be a disciplinary warning. If someone were to be injured, suspension or dismissal might be the consequences. Fortunately, he was just having a bad day and I just got my feelings hurt. That’s all, I, who deals with chronic pain, clinical depression and anxiety, just got his feelings hurt. I have enough self doubt to deal with, second guessing myself at every decision. I asked for the referral because I need an independent second opinion about symptoms that get dismissed routinely by the doctors who I have now.

Maybe it is deeper than  that. Perhaps he is feeling threatened by my going out of the system that he is associated with. Maybe the specialist who I had been seeing in his system asked him to discourage me from going to another doctor. He might even feel that he is absolutely right and that I don’t need to challenge his opinion. He might just be a dickhead. I don’t think that it matters anymore so far so him treating me again.

Now I come to the point that I was trying to make earlier. His failure has caused me anguish, I have to find another health care professional because I have no confidence in him.  It’s he accountable for any of his actions, or rather, inaction? Do I lodge a complaint and if so who will see it? I assume that he is the top of the heap, the big cheese, so in essence am I wasting my breath? I don’t know where to find the answers to those questions.

I want an apology. It would be completely insane to expect an explanation to be sure. I’ve been disrespected in the past and survived. The times I’ve disrespected others there have been consequences. Whether I agreed with it or not, some times I’ve deserved it. Knowing me, I won’t bother with a complaint. Because for one reason, I know that it would fall on deaf ears. Actually, one reason is it. Nothing will come of it. Not even a better office visit for another person.

That’s it.  My daily gripe. I’ve been at the bottom of my pit for some time now and I’m looking for the light. I just haven’t found a trace of it yet.


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