Doctor change

In life, one thing can be assured. Everything changes, sometimes for better, other times for the worst. I find myself in real need of finding a new primary care physician. My previous one and I are at an impass. I don’t think that he is open to what I tell him and I am in great anxiety over the whole thing. My sleep is disturbed and I can’t focus on important issues. Of course the ever present specter of depression has to poke his nasty head in to muddle up the works.

It is hard to  choose what Dr to contact. What specialty is of concern too. And if the sex of the Dr. Women sometimes are more empathetic and are better listeners. I have picked a couple to contact and hope to hear from soon. My chronic pain syndrome, Malrotation symptoms and depression have always been a challenge to doctors. Throw in the growing anxiety and, damn, I’m a catch as a patient!

I have gone off on my primary care  for not listening. He is convinced that he has diagnosed and explained the symptoms that I complain about. I know that pain killers contribute to my constipation. And that that the impotence is exacerbated by the antidepressants. But the ever present pain I think is related to complications of the Malrotation. Not being able to poo for up to 2 weeks almost no matter what I do is not right.

And so,  the depression,  which had actually been under a measure of control, is now becoming a big issue again. So here I am in a place I don’t like to be. I’m mad at the Dr. Way mad at me. It is safe to be mad at yourself. I am accustomed to pain, I don’t like it much, I take narcotics to quiet it. But it is a thing that I can control and live with.. If you call it living.  I have been driving 50 miles one way to see the loud doc and there is an alternative the opposite direction a little closer. I’ve got a couple of calls out, waiting to hear back so that’s where I am now.


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